My husband and I found ourselves parenting a very troubled
14-year-old grandson whose mother moved to Dallas and abandoned him
to the care of two women she met over the internet.
He appeared before a local magistrate because of drug abuse and
chronic truancy. He was required to complete the North Texas
Youth Connection program in an effort to help him turn his life
around. He was on the brink of self destruction. North Texas
Youth Connection was the first and most important step in reaching
the child.
In his mother’s absence, I attended parenting sessions while he
attended counseling. Participating in the program with my grandchild
was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I am
convinced the program was a powerful influence on the child. I
saw him struggle to transform anger into positive energy. I
also listened to young parents express frustration, even anger, with
their rebellious teens. Through NTYC both parents and children were
provided very positive feedback, tools to assist in redirecting life
courses and also direct interaction with peers who were experiencing
many of the same problems.
Even after all these months, my grandson frequently refers to his
‘NTYC experience’ and what he gained from the program. Often
he wishes he could do it again, a powerful statement coming from a
teenager. As we mark each day’s progress, I too, find myself
drawing from parenting class. As a mother of six, grandmother
of eight, I didn’t think there was much more I could learn or
experience. I was wrong!
North Texas Youth connection affords troubled youth a safe haven,
providing tools and resources to assist them in redirecting their
lives.
STAR Family Connection
A mother
brought her son to our program because she was having increasing
problems with his anger and hostility. He glared at the intake
worker, was short with his answers, and rolled his eyes at the
stupidity of the questions.
A story
began to unfold about a family suffering many difficulties, one of
which was abuse by the father. The mother had divorced the father,
and he started using the son to get even with her. Then the father
contracted a terminal illness. The son turned his own guilt, most
which was cultivated by the father, into anger towards the mother.
By the time
mother and son reached STAR, the son wanted nothing to do with her
and to devote himself to his father; but the mother knew that would
cause her son more problems when the father passed away, and she
loved her son enough to not let this happen.
We began
working with the two as individuals and as a unit. Halfway through
the program, there was marked improvement in the son’s attitude, but
mom was afraid to “rock the boat.” The groups were a great source
of help in encouraging her to continue to be a positive parent, not
afraid to set reasonable boundaries. At closure, the son and mother
looked at each other, smiled, joked and told about a weekend
excursion they had taken together. We were able to talk openly
about his father and the father’s needs.
Three months
later at follow-up, we learned the father had died, but the son
continued to do very well.
STAR Family Connection
A father
called our crisis line, choking back the tears, saying he was dying
but had an 11-year-old daughter whose mother was a drug addict. He
asked us for help dealing with his daughter to help her deal with
his disease and probably death.
The father
was living with his mother, who was also terminally ill with
cancer. He said that 70% of what he received from Social Security
went for his medication, and even at that cost he had to split his
pills in half to make them last.
He had been
depending upon his daughter to help take care of both him and his
mother. The daughter was depressed. Other kids at school were
making fun of her, teasing and tormenting her until she was refusing
to go.
Upon
entering the STAR program, a referral was made to Pfizer RX, which
provided the father with the medications he needed at no cost.
Another referral to Home Hospice provided respite care for the
family. Baylor Medical was involved and now the father is on a
heart/lung transplant list. The girl was given a “big sister”
mentor from Austin College.
Through
counseling, the daughter and father were able to talk through many
issues surrounding his disease and she was able to achieve a much
better sense of self-esteem.
At
follow-up, we learned the girl is now a member of the basketball
squad, getting straight A’s in her classes, and attended her first
school dance.
Shelter
A
17-year-old boy came into our shelter in July. He had already
attained his GED, and was quickly nearing his 18th birthday. He had
admitted to a checkered past and had been through many placements.
He was given
a chance to be a success as soon as he entered the door at North
Texas Youth Connection. He had goals of going to college and had
already completed the PAL (Preparation for Adult Living) program.
He had a bright future ahead of him.
Unfortunately, like too many teens his age in care, he would be
forced to leave our facility as soon as he turned 18. Because of
this, he quickly needed help getting into a college. He needed help
obtaining college information, filling out applications for
financial aid, and also needed time to just be a kid. Through
contact with his CPS caseworker, mentors and his family, we were
able to help him complete the college application process.
He
celebrated his 18th birthday with us and we were able to
give him a computer, which was rebuilt and donated by one of our
local computer businesses, to take with him to college. He was
finally moved to live with a friend in Amarillo, where he planned to
attend college.
Shelter
A female
teenager was placed with us near the end of the school year. At the
time of her intake she was known as a behavior problem, was somewhat
low functioning, and her caseworker assumed she would need to be
placed later in a Residential Treatment Center. She had low
self-esteem and poor hygiene practices. She tried to blend into the
background and avoid the spotlight.
During her
first month she kept to herself, stayed out of trouble and followed
the rules. Staff continuously praised her for this and focused on
her good behavior. Staff began treating her like a leader and a
role model for the youth that struggled with the rules.
As time went
by, the young lady began to believe in herself, view herself as a
leader and thrive in this role. She developed more confidence and
started speaking up. She reached out for a female role model and
started asking about how she should dress and fix her hair.
She no longer wanted to hide behind baggy clothes and ball caps.
Her hygiene improved.
North Texas
Youth Connection staff took the time to find her some different
clothes, other than the jogging suits and baggy shirts that she
brought with her. She became a more vocal leader around her peers
and let them know when they weren’t acting right.
By the end
of her stay she was no longer in need of going to a Residential
Treatment Center, but was ready and eligible for a foster home. We
have recently been notified that her foster parents will be adopting
her this summer.
